Dear Diary,  Wellness

The Big 4-0

When I was in my early 30’s my co-worker once told me, “when you hit 40, it’s all down hill from there. That’s when my body started falling apart,” and he proceeded to rattle off a comprehensive list of things that went awry as soon as he hit the big 4-0.

Less than a month away from my 40th birthday and I am finding myself facing some health issues myself.

  • Frequent tension headaches and the occasional migraine. I went to physical therapy, which helped for a while. But admittedly, I have been lazy about following through on the exercises and stretches and have not had a massage since my last therapy session. So things are starting to kink up again.
  • Episodes of increased tinnitus (ringing/roaring in right ear) for about 18 hours, followed by vertigo. Two words: NOT FUN. I am really hoping this is not Meniere’s Disease, as everything I read about it sounds awfully similar to what I’m experiencing. The bad news about receiving this diagnosis is that there is little that can be done in terms of a cure. I have an MRI scheduled for next week to rule out more serious problems with my brain, so of course, prayers are most appreciated for that. If they find nothing on the MRI, my primary care physician suggests going back to see the ENT (ear, nose, throat doc) to do the Meniere’s Disease workup. I hear it’s not a delightful experience.

The latter is what is most troubling to me now, as I already had 3 episodes of this in the past 3 weeks. The last two happened to be yesterday and today. Needless to say, vertigo can be extremely debilitating, especially one who is prone to motion sickness, as vertigo has a nice way of emulating a carnival ride that you just can’t get off. Nausea  and dizziness are not happy bedfellows.


Lately, it seems that I am hardly ever without some kind of discomfort plaguing me. Inevitably, this makes me cranky. Today, I found myself exasperated at everything and everyone.

I hate being like that. Feeling like everything is getting on my very last nerve.

Worst of all, I don’t like making my loved ones feel, well, unloved.

This in turn causes guilt. Which then causes me to be exasperated with myself and raises my stress level even more. *sigh* Something has got to give, and I’m hoping it’s not my sanity.

At the recommendation of a friend, I started reading The Plan: Eliminate the Surprising “Healthy” Foods That Are Making You Fat–and Lose Weight Fast. I am hoping to take control of my health again. Somehow.

Insanity is, by definition, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I suppose it’s time to get off the insanity cycle and try something different in hopes of effecting a change.

Perhaps I’ll start writing more about this health journey as I go along. If for nothing else, but to document it somewhere. Oh, and I find writing very therapeutic. In fact, I already feel my stress level decreasing. 🙂

As for that midlife crisis? Let’s reschedule it. I’m too exhausted. Besides, with longer life expectancy these days, I figure I’m not due for a midlife crisis until at least 50.

Here’s to hoping I can go into my fourth decade of life with grace and not kicking and screaming.

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