Blessings,  Dear Diary,  Faith

A new chapter

The journey began in April 2013. I enrolled in a real estate pre-licensing course online. I completed 5 of the 29 chapters in one month, then it sat on the backburner for 10 months. The course had a shelf life of one year and I realized that I had to finish it by April 22, 2014 otherwise find myself paying for an extension — or worse, having to start from the scratch again.

So, on March 8, 2014, I picked it back up again and kicked it up a notch. This time, I was motivated to finish. I completed the remaining 24 content chapters and 2 lengthy review chapters with 7 days to spare on my deadline, completing the course on April 15, 2014.

Today, May 5, 2014, I took the state exam and passed both the national and the state sections. Even as I type this, I almost find it incredulous, as I had never found anything, academically, more daunting than this. There was just SO much material to learn and retain. Rules, regulations, mandates, disclosures, ethics, dates, formulas, do’s and don’ts… And the thing is, I’m not as young as I used to be and my brain was feeling pretty rusty. Add to that the fact that the last time I was doing any type of serious studying was when I had a lot less on my plate. Raising a 5-year-old, homeschooling, managing a household, taking care of my father, and running a business while trying to squeeze in studies was not easy. Hubby was a huge help in allowing me the time I needed to have uninterrupted study time whenever he was not at work.

As this experience stretched me in ways I would not have imagined, it also strengthened my faith. I knew that I could never accomplish this by my own efforts. In the days leading up to my exam, anxiety came knocking. And if you have ever experienced anxiety, you know that it can be debilitating and manifest itself in physical symptoms. In the grip of late night throes of anxiety, I realized that I could not do this alone. Nor did I have to. I prayed and gave it to God. If I were to accomplish anything, it would be by His strength, because when I am weak, He is strong. And boy, did I feel weak throughout the this whole process.

I did my part. I studied to the best of my ability, and I put it in His hands. And, that was extremely liberating.

Not to say that I wasn’t nervous, because I was! But it didn’t feel like life and death any more. Things fell into proper perspective and I went into the testing center with a peace and confidence that no matter what happened, it would be okay.

In fact, my 5-year-old daughter told me that very thing in the car as we were driving to town this morning. “Mommy, don’t worry. If you pass or if you don’t, it will be okay. I still love you and I’m still proud of you. And you know you worked hard.”

She is such an encourager! Sometimes I can’t believe she’s only 5.

I went into the testing center buoyed by the prayers of my friends and clinging to this verse that my dear friend Jan gave me this morning:

“For God had not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

As I pressed the END button after checking and re-checking my answers, I lifted up a prayer. When the screen finished tallying my score and displayed “PASS” on both sections, I was so relieved and happy that I almost broke down and cried right there in my testing cubicle.

One chapter ends, another one begins.

All glory to God.

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